Most of you probably know that before I got together with hubby, I was engaged to another guy. Shock Horror!!
I’ve not seen or spoken to him since. I have no wish to. I have no interest in what he does. He’s a part of my life that is in the past and that I don’t miss. Most people would understand that.
So imagine how I felt when a few weeks ago, a “friend” of mine saw some people that we both knew. I was fiends with both of them before I got together with my ex, but now they don’t speak to me – nothing like listening to both points of view. After she saw them, she was telling me all about my ex. About the fact he now has a son and that he’s lost his sight (he was blind in one eye anyway). That made me feel weird because I wasn’t sure how I should have felt. Yes it’s a shame, but I don’t feel sorry for him. I don’t want to contact him and send him my sympathies. If it wasn’t for her sticking her oar in, I wouldn’t have even known.
I told her at that point that I didn’t really care what he was doing with his life. Then yesterday, I got this email from her:
“Went to a party at Jane’s* mums on Sunday evening which was nice, got to meet quite a few people I’d not met before and got to see a few I hadn’t seen in a long time. Saw Joe* there too, met his wife and baby….he is gaining some sight back too apparently which is good news for him. His son is gorgeous, so cute and his wife is really pretty, just not what I was expecting at all”
Am I the only one who thinks that is totally out of order, inappropriate and insensitive? My response to her was this:
“Yeah funny, she looks exactly like her sister (she and her sister are identical twins and the other twin is married to his brother – weird). To be honest, I’m not really interested in anything to do with him. He’s a part of my life that’s in the past and that I don’t miss. I don’t want to know what he’s doing and I don’t want him and his family to know what I’m doing coz it’s none of their business. So as long as he and they weren’t asking, all is well with the world.”
Her reply:
“She doesn’t now; her sister has filled out a bit so they do look a little different. No, they didn’t mention you, I don’t suppose they would make the connection anyway, Joe* possibly would but he didn’t seem to register it. “
So even after I’ve told her I don’t care, she tells me that the twins don’t look like each other anyway. I just told her again that I didn’t care and she dropped it.
What she seems to forget is that if she is talking about people behind their backs, they are most likely talking about her behind hers. If I ever find out she has been talking about me, and stuff about what I’m doing, where I’m doing it, and who I’m doing it with gets out to my ex, well that’s it, I’ll never have anything to do with her again.
She wants to be careful, otherwise the truth about what really happened to the baby she “miscarried” might find its way out.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of those that don’t really deserve it
WWWooooooWWW! Would you really tell about the “miscarriage” like that? I’m sure you would be the better person and not do so, I couldn’t imagine it. BUT, I would be quite sure to TELL HER BLATANTLY that your business is your own that you would not apprciate having your business spread. I’m sorry, but she doesn’t seem to bright, if she continues to talk about things you’ve told her you don’t want to hear about, have you asked her why she cotinues to do that? How long have you been friends for? N-E-WAY, I hope you work it out, and I would just keep her on the low-to no knowledge end of the totum pole, the less she knows about what your up to, the less she has to “accidentally” spill.
Oh, this sounds like trouble. I hope this vent has sublimated your rage. Do you really want to get into a war started by someone you don’t even care about? Everyone has an ex and you just have to take it on the chin when dim-witted mutual friends don’t realise that they are jamming their feet in it. Take it on the chin, and shut her down. Don’t let her rile you, and get on with all the nice things about life – all the things you wouldn’t have if you hadn’t let go of the old one. Oh, and ditch that tramp asap.
The rant has helped. I just needed to get it off my chest. It just riles me that people can’t leave the past in the past. And,no, I probably wouldn’t say anything about her “miscarriage” but she wants to remember that I know
I suppose that is one of the best things about blogging, getting it off the chest! Sounds like the other woman is trying to bait you. I would limit my contact with her. Your best bet though, is to never take “offense”. Any outrage, even if mild, if you show it, will be used against you.
It’s one thing if you would have been friendly with the ex, but it sounds like a ‘no how no way don’t care’ type of situation, and people should respect that. Hopefully it ends here!
How annoying. Just try and ignore it. Not a good friend.
Well.. I wonder what she was getting out of doing this. Y dont people just let others live…
Peace!